I remember...

Yesterday was my birthday...another year older...doesn't feel any different. I wanted to share my journal entry from last night.

2/28/08

Today I went and volunteered in Jaxen's school. He is the Star Student this week. He got to show-and-tell today. He was so excited! It is so fun to watch him get so excited. Bridgit watched Owen and Ember while I was gone.

We went to Manuel's for my birthday dinner. Call it fate, because coincidence doesn't really fir, but we ran into one of Owen's NICU nurses! I couldn't believe it, I am sitting there scarfing chips and salsa and in walks Sarah with a group of her friends. (It took a minute to remember her name. After all, once you go through it you want to kind of forget about it.) So I kind of said "Sarah" a little loud to see if she would look up. Wanted to make sure it was her. (She wasn't wearing scrubs, lol). She looked up and automatically smiled and jumped up to come over. She remembered us!

She told me that Baby Baur had passed away. This was one of the babies that Owen shared a pod with for the majority of his stay. Baby Baur was in and out of the hospital. I guess he had something going on that they couldn't diagnose.

We chatted a bit. She took Owen to show her friends. She said they always hear about the bad days. She wanted to show him off! LOL Afterward, we both sat down to eat. I just had a flood of NICU memories.

She was there to comfort me during some rough times. She explained things so I could understand what was going on. She loved him and took good care of him. I really don't know how they do it. I remember just chatting with her and knowing Owen was taken care of when I wasn't there.

I remember the little space that Owen called home for 12 weeks. I remember the methodic changing of fluids, the white gloves, the carefully handled life lines c0nnected to my little boy. I remember the diaper that was smaller than the palm of my hand and a little boy not that much bigger than that. I remember wondering if my little guy was going to make it. Crying, smiling, living, hoping, and breathing all while my little one fought for his life.

I remember waiting....it was the longest 17 weeks of my life! Nothing to do by wait. So long ago, yet it was just a little over 6 months ago it all started.

You would never know now that Owen was that small, that tiny, that delicate. A little boy struggling to breathe on his own. Fighter of reflux, that was part of who he was.

He lies here now snoring...perfect...my son. God has given me the privilege of baring this small person into the world. Owen has a purpose, his fight for life is proof that he was chosen to be here during this dispensation.

I got to tell Sarah how thankful I was for her. How much she meant to me and Owen. One of his many partners in the fight. She will always have a special place in our hearts.

Was it coincidence? I don't think so. I was a gift for me on my birthday. To remember where I have been and to look forward to what the future holds. To know I can make it through anything with the help of the Lord. A time to look back, reflect, and let go of the fear and anxiety and live. To remember to loosen my frightened grasp from around Owen and let him grow and florish.

He is a big boy now, his smile reminds me everyday that he is happy and healthy and I know we have been blessed. I can't thank Him enough.

My Little Missionary

Yesterday evening we decided to go to the park to practice soccer with the kids. Jaxen wanted to invite the little boy next door to go with us. His mother said yes, so we load up into the car. As we are pulling out, this is the conversation I hear in the backseat.

F (Boy next door): This is baby music, I don't wanna listen to baby music.
J: It's not baby music it's church music.
F: Oh.
J: Mom, can you turn it up?

I smile and turn it up a little.

J: Did you know that the Lamanites and Nephites were both good guys and bad guys? (He had asked Shaun earlier if the Lamanites were good guys and Nephites were bad guys. Shaun explained that there were times when each was good and each was not so good.)
F: Who?
J: The Nephites and the Lamanites. The fought alot.
F: (I didn't hear anything, he was probably trying to figure out what Jaxen was talking about!)
J: Do you know we are Lamanites?

I have to admit I was so proud of him. He stuck up for his religion and the music we love. He took a step further and tried to explain a little about the Book of Mormon, even if it was just a general overview of the action-packed parts. *sniff* Already a missionary...makes me want to do a little better.

On this topic I have to say that I was much impressed with the Primary Activity held this past Saturday...and not just because I could drop off two kids and leave! Jaxen and Ember came home talking about the brass plates, Joseph Smith, and Lehi's journey across the sea and many other memorable topics covered in two hours. It was hands on and they really enjoyed it and talked about it for days!

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder

Ember sat down and drew a couple of pictures. Afer completing them she comes to be to tell me who they are for.

E: (Shuffling through them) This one is for Pepper (her cousin, nickname by the way), this one is for Savannah, and this one is for me. (Reshuffling) Wait...I mean this one is for Pepper, this one is for Savannah, and this one is for (thinking pause). ...(Finally, with a quizical look and squinty eyes) Mom, what is the name of Auntie Del's kid again?!

M: You mean Yonna (nickname)?

E: Yeah, Yonna, this one is for her.

Just goes to show that it doesn't take much for a little one to forget the small details in a relationship. I mean, you all here the kids calling each other, "Hey, Friend!".

I have a BIL that is 9, we were at a party (yes, we like to party, LOL) and he met a little boy out on the playground. He came up to the group and said, this is my friend. What is your friends name I asked? He looks at the kid and said, what is your name? LOL

Jaxen gets to be the "Star Student" in his class for next week. It is about time, I haven't heard the end of the fact that he hasn't been the Star Student yet. So, the questions they ask are as follows as well as his answers.

Favorite Color: Black
Favorite Food: Chicken Bones...hot (I guess this would be hot chicken wings)
Favorite Sport: Soccer (It better be since we paid all that money to sign him up)
Favorite Books: Star Wars, Spider-man, and Scooby-doo books
What do you want to be when you grow up: A doctor same as an ambulance (EMT maybe) and a Dad. (This was after much prompting. He just wanted to be a dad and it took him a while to think of something else. I guess an EMT is the next step up after pizza maker)
Favorite things to do: Color, play games, and jump on the trampoline.

On the dad note, after telling me he wants to be a dad when he grows up he starts an external dialog with himself.

J: When I am a dad, I will put my kids in time out when they are being mean and bad. I will still love them though.

Ahh, they remember the best of times don't they?

Always be prepared...

For FHE on Monday we went over out Fire Prevention Plan. The good ole stop, drop, and roll, crawling under the smoke, feeling the doors and how to get out of the house from two different ways. I wanted the kids to know how to open their windows and climb out in case they ever needed to. Each of our windows has a screw type "thingy" that you have to move to be able to open the window. Keeps it from being opened from the outside is my guess for the contraption.

Anywho, I was having Jaxen and Ember practice opening and going out the window and meeting at the back fence. Ember was totally freaking out. She didn't want to open the window. She didn't want to go out the window. She didn't want to run to the fence. And she definitely didn't want to "pretend there was a fire". So, after a few times of going over everything we called it a night.

Jaxen had apparently learned someta thing or two on ll this at school. He was very well versed and knew his stuff! I was so proud. *beaming* He was a good example for his sister.

A few days later, I am in cleaning the bathrooms when I hear the back door slide open and shut. Hmm, wasn't she just in her room playing with Sydney? I go peek in and her window is open. I catch her standing by the door with a huge grin.

"What are you doing?"
"Practicing going out the window, like last night (all past nights are classified as last night)."

Well, at least I know she knows how to get out of her window.

Other memorable moments for the week:

Jaxen won first prize on his science fair project. In all fairness it was on a scale, so there is more than one first prize winner, etc. The judges who pulled him out to talk to him about the project were uber impressed. He knew his stuff and had a very good presentation. Not bad for a kindergartener.

Ember got some stickers from her grandma in the mail for Valentine's Day. (Thanks Grandma!) She immediately puts some on the back of her hands. Later, we are sitting at dinner and she says. "I have an idea! Let's pretend these stickers are really ratatoods!" TRANSLATION: "Let's pretend these stickers are really tattoos!" You had to see her face. LOL

And finally, the other day we were talking a walk and Jaxen was pulling Ember in the wagon.

M: You are so strong, Sonny!
J: Because I am 5 years old and I never give up!

That's right Sonny, you are five and I hope you never do give up!

Owen's First Laugh Ceremony

Here is a picture of Owen at his First Laugh Ceremony. It went really well.

Speaking of laughs, I got a couple of hardy chuckles out of him last night.

Before it was a small little laugh (hard to tell it from a grunt really). It took convincing by my dear hubby to accept the truth. I guess it could have been a laugh, but it sounded like a grunt to me.

But last night, it was a full chuckle. I guess he thought the baby in the mirror looked pretty darn funny...or maybe it was the lady looking at him....

Weird Science

Jaxen submitted a project in the science fair this year. Come to find out it was voluntary. As if dropping it off at the cafeteria and only seeing 6 other Kindergarten entries wasn't a clue. His question was: In what kind of soil do green beans grow best? (Compost, dirt, sand, or rocks).

So, today he came home and we asked if he was taken out of his class by a judge.

J: Yeah
M: Did they ask you questions?
J: Yeah
M: Like what?
J: (thinking - pause - shoulder shrug) I don't remember...a lot of questions.
M: Ok....what did you tell them?
J: A lot of answers.

Hmm, I guess I should have seen that coming.

First Laugh Ceremony

Owen's first laugh ceremony is going to be held this weekend. Here is what it is and why we hold it....

According to Navajo (or Diné) tradition, a baby is considered to be of two worlds at birth: that of the holy people and that of the earth people. As weeks pass, adults wait and listen for the child's first chuckle — a sign of joy that signals his desire to join his earth family and community. In Navajo culture, it is believed that a child assumes the qualities of the person who witnesses, or coaxes, his first giggle. (So it might be wise to keep your less noble relations away!) The person who first gets the infant to laugh wins the honor (that would be me) of preparing a big feast for the little one. Frequently this is a person who plays an important role in the child's life (I hope so).

To commemorate this event, the laugh witness hosts an A'wee Chi'deedloh ("The Baby Laughed") ceremony. Guests, often bearing gifts, file past the infant with plates full of food. With help from the host, the baby holds out salt crystals for each of them. Placed on the food or tongue, the salt is meant to rejuvenate the good character in each recipient and serve as the first in a lifetime of generous acts by the child.

At the meal's end, either the host or a community or family elder blesses the baby, wishing him a life of generosity and gratitude.

Rock the Boat Vote!

6:15 PM Do you know where your children are? Mine were calmly (surprisingly, no sarcasm here) waiting for us...waiting to vote. Yes, standing in line to vote. It's not even the Primary! Come 7 PM we finely get in. Don't really get to vote, but that is another story.

While in line Ember asked for about the third time what we were doing standing in line. I told her Daddy and I had to vote. Ten minutes later....

M: We are almost done.
E: Mom, is it time to get on the boat?
M: What? ...No we aren't getting on a boat.
E: I thought you said you came here to get on a boat?

*sigh* I wish it was a boat....a cruise liner to be more specific....even better if it were going somewhere exotic and I didn't have to pay for it.

On another more random note: I got myself Owen one of these. What do you think?

Smile and Nod Boys, Smile and Nod...

Owen had his 6 month check up today. All is well. He is 13 pounds 2 ounces. Right below the normal curve for a 6 month old in both height and weight. The pediatrician (who I really like, BTW) told me to go ahead and start introducing solids.....(this is where the smile and nod come in). I mentioned that he can't sit up (a given) and was told to just recline him in the high chair (is there even a high chair with this function?) Anyway, just uh-huh'ed my way though it and moved on. He will not be starting solids anytime soon.

We signed Jaxen and Ember up for soccer over the weekend. Now I know why I have to limit the number of kids I pop out....the exta stuff is expensive! Seriously though, once all was said and done we shelled out more than $200 on the both of them. They are sticking with soccer whether they like it our not for the next few years! (or at least until they outgrow their cleats).

Weekend wise words:

E: What is that on you for? (pointing to my C-section scar)
M: It is where they cut Owen out of mommy cuz they were in a hurry to get him out.
E: No it's not! That is where your underwear was! (I guess referring to the ever lovely underwear line)

E: Look mom that car has a party hat! (It was a taxi.)