I have a big mouth

Honesty, how can anyone eat with a small fork or a small spoon? Is is just me? Am I in such a hurrry to scarf down a meal that I need to have a pitchfork and shovel?

Yesterday afternoon I am trying to finish a meal when the switch happens. Shaun had asked Ember to get him a fork, which she complies, but comes back with a smaller one. I turn my back for a split second, pick up the featherweight fork and try to eat with it. Seriously, nothing would stay on the fork. I felt a little clumsy and gave it another try. Forget it. I have to accept the fact that my mouth needs more than 3 peas or 5 grains or rice to begin chewing. Why waste all the energy on 3 peas instead of, say, 15-20 I can stab with a bigger fork or shovel in with a bigger spoon? I resorted to eating with my hands getting up and getting a bigger fork. Apparently Shaun is a little more patient when it comes to eating. He can eat with a small spoon, and in fact, he likes to. Who would have thought we would have ended up together, right? So each morning I shovel in mouthfuls of cereal while he daintly eats with his small spoon. I try hard to keep my mouth shut while eating (hey, a big spoon fits alot of cereal) and set a good example of eating with your mouth closed for the kids.

This brings me to my theory. I was never a fast eater growing up, in fact I was quite picky and took forever to eat because my mother made me try everything. (I forgive, but can't forget) So, of course, as soon as I left home, I never try anything I don't want to. Yes, I know some of you say I am "missing out", but for me, I feel a sense of control. Ok, a little side tracked, apparently I have deeply rooted issues on that one.

Anyway, back to my theory. Once I became pregnant I become a fast eater. I didn't want to share my food with Shaunton or anyone else for that matter. Upon getting or making food, it was consumed as fast as possible with the lowest chew count that would allow for maximum swallowing with out choking. I was, as I like to think, insuring the continuation of a species. If Shaun really wanted a bite of my insert food item here he would just have to go and buy, make, or get it himself. Did I tell him this? No...I was just sure to eat insert food item here when he wasn't around or in one instantanious all consuming gulp. Hmm, now that I think about it, that might be why I always had heartburn.

To this day I am still a pretty speedy eater (when I am hungry). I don't over eat, just until I am full. I still don't like to share, and if my kids weren't so darn cute I really wouldn't share with them either.

As I think more about it, I have come to the conclusion that small spoons are only good for kids and eating ice cream. Small forks are just for kids.