Acceptable reasons

In a book I read:

 "You want acceptable reasons why Daniel's not coming to school? Well, stick these in your fascist helmet:"
(At this point there is a list of ten reasons, counting down, but I will only give you the best ones!)
"Number nine: Daniel described your school as a holding pen for the 'criminally underinspired' ...
Number six: Daniel wrote an essay for his social studies class yesterday that was so good his teacher fainted, and we don't want to put any other educators in harm's way....
Number five: We've looked over the terms of the No Child Left Behind Act and determined that if your school is doing the driving, we're okay with Daniel being left behind....
Number two: Daniel's doctor fears that if Daniel has to hear one more nonsensical,, bureaucracy-inspired edict come out of your office, he may decide to flee the country."

My personal favorite is Number 5!

Daniel X
Watch the Skies
by James Patterson & Ned Rust