I went to go see Owen last night...the feeding tube is back in. I found out later that they lowered his pressure to .3, so his oxygen has gone up and his feeding is a little more rough. It takes them a while to adjust each time they make a change like that.
There are twins in the same pod as Owen, they are 24 weekers I think. Owen used to have another little boy that was right "next door". I talked to his mom, who was 17 years old while she was there. She had some complications that caused her water to break. She also ended up having surgery while her boy was in NICU. I went in over the weekend and he wasn't there....I thought maybe he had been moved to a different pod. Come to find out on Monday that he didn't make it. It made me take a step back and realize how blessed I am to have been able to keep Owen in for the 5 extra weeks in the hospital. I know that if I didn't go to the hospital, he wouldn't be here...or else he would be, but with a much different outcome. I am thankful everyday that he is doing well.
On another note, I totally feel like a bad parent. Yesterday my kids wanted to go see Freddy, he is the little boy next door. They ran back and said he wasn't there, but they wanted to wait outside for him. I was making dinner so I let them play out front checking on them periodically. I stepped out once to see Ember creeping into the street, she was really looking to make sure there weren't any cars, but she was still in the street. I totally freaked out. What was I thinking letting my kids play in the front yard?! They could have been hit my a car, taken by some strangers, ran over by the lady next door (she said they were playing in her driveway, this is Freddy's house, behind her car). Granted the likeliness is small, but still there. They neighbors door is diagonal, so she saw them, or street is relatively quiet, but STILL, What was I thinking?!
I was a complete mess last night, thinking of all the what if's, and thinking about Owen and what the heck am I going to do when he gets home!
I need encouragement and proof that I am not a bad parent. *sigh*
8 years ago
2 comments:
Moe, you are a wonderful parent! Chin up - you'll do wonderfully when Owen gets to come home! ((HUGS))
Rachel Beth
don't worry about the what if's. All it does is make you unhappy. If you focus on the immediate that they were ok and that the Lord protects your family you realize that even when we make mistakes we have the power to learn from them. You are an awesome momma and your kids are lucky to have you.
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